So Camo has a daycare spot and he’s all happy and awesome there. But “daycare-itis” has set in. He’s been sick twice. And guess what! I’m now sick too. I started a new job last week (which is actually pretty awesome) and bam, week two day three, sent home for being sick. My ears keep popping, I can’t breathe through my nose, my throat hurts, my chest hurts, and I’m cold! At least now that I’m home I can relax and just chill all day until I need to go get him at 3:45.

I’m about to curl up on the couch, pick a movie and snuggle in with a blankie. Shower after that, and insane amounts of tea all day! I gotta be at work tomorrow, no choice, so lets hope today makes it go the fuck away!

Called a million daycare places this morning. Half got voicemails, two said not before next year, and three (including my favourite one) took our names & number and will call us.

Please y’all, pray we get into OSDN with a subsidy. They are amazing, and even better, they’re close.

If that fails though, my number two (Heritage) is also got us set beside her phone just in case.

Right now I am so thankful for lovely people.

Edited to add: We got into an okay home daycare that’s decently close to our house. I’m trying to going in with an open mind today but I don’t think I’m going to like it or feel okay with him there. I can always keep my list open for my top two though thankfully!

My mat leave just went down 34$ per week. That may not seem like a lot, but it honest to God just fucked me right out of being able to pay my bills and rent properly.

Fuck you government of Canada. FUCK YOU.

(For those who were asking, my benefits cheque also went down 200, so yeah, it ends up being like a 350$ loss… it is a big deal).

We decide we’d take the car out to a friend’s house today to see how it did on longer trips. She only lives about 100km away, and most of it is highway so we weren’t too worried. We made it about half way when the car started sounding funny. We turn off the tunes and take the exit. Still on the exit ramp, we pull over. Car dies. We check it all out, figure it’s a water pump, or oil dohickey, or a bearing is loose (husband is clearly the mechanic, not I). So finally the car starts up and we turn around to go home. We didn’t get very far before poof, dead fucking engine.

We’ve had Princess literally since Wednesday. Today is Sunday. Car is pooched. We called my mom and dad and asked them to call CAA and rescue us. Thankfully they did, but sadly our car is now back at the dealership. We had them tow it there because if they towed it home, we had no way to get it there. The hubs thinks they’re actually going to put in a new (or slightly used but working) engine. I’m pretty sure they’re going to hand us our money back and say too bad. That fact actually really pisses me the fuck off because I like this car. A lot. She’s my Superpoo!

Plus, after 2003 the Subaru Impreza didn’t have as pretty headlights. She’s all doe-eyed and gorgeous right now! Someone fix my fucking car, and give it back! I’ve gotten pretty attached already.

Please be fixable Princess… We love you!

Just trying to figure out my monthly budget again now that we’re looking into a new car.

Visa: 30
Mastercard:100
PC:35
OSAP:75
Internet:50
Rent:450
Hydro/2:100
RESP:50
Total: 890

Yikes. Out of the 940 I receive each month I’m paying about 890 of it. I can’t wait to go back to work. I really want to go back in October but it depends on the daycare situation.

Cameron’s naps are buggered up from him being sick and the commotion going on lately. I put him down at 10, and he woke up at 10:50 screaming. I let him cry for about 5 minutes, gave him a 6 ounce bottle and put him back down. It’s now 1:05 and he’s still sleeping. The 50 minute nap was too sort, two hours is normal, but if you take out the feeding, he’s been down for 3 hours! That’s nuts. Time to go check on him and see if he wakes up when I open the door… If not, I’m leaving the door open anyways.

On the plus, his cold is almost completely gone and he LOVES bananas!

I bought a baby bullet completely intending to make Cameron’s foods, and I did make pureed apples, but that’s as far as I got. Today while I was out I bought butternut squash (something I don’t like so would never make), apples, carrots (another gross cooked thing), sweet potatoes (which I didn’t know was “beginner”), pears, bananas, and peaches. Really I just want to see what he likes before I make a huge batch of crap and freeze it. Well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. I won’t be buying Gerber again though. Metro’s store brand and Heinz only contain the fruit/food and water. Gerber’s has extra puree and crap in it. If it wasn’t for there being less selection with Heinz, I would have got all that. And next time, I will. Why am I saying next time if I want to make my own food? Because you tell me when the heck you’re going to make prune puree. Yeaaaaah, in this house, never.

Also, I want to apologize to anyone who was in Metro. Cameron is usually good as gold, I’m so so sorry he started crying. Thank you to the lovely employee who came and started talking to him and distracting him. I think he’s starting to get his teeth because he’s been crazy cranky the last two days, not wanting to nap or eat. Again, I’m sorry, and thank you lovely employee lady!

Cameron is being such a fussy pants! I keep checking for teeth but I don’t see any. He won’t take his bottle, but he doesn’t have a fever. His diaper is dry and I’ve tried turning the swing either way. He keeps crying if I hold him, so that isn’t what he wants either… You’d think by 5 months I’d know what he wants when he cries, but he does it so little I haven’t got a clue.

All I know is I’m loosing my mind not being able to get him to stop! It’s a good thing he’s cute…

I just found out last night/yesterday that my Nana who we thought was in the hospital with pneumonia didn’t actually have pneumonia. They “discovered” that it’s fluid on her heart, again, and with her congestive heart failure, this gives her about 2 years… or that’s what the doctor said. Ya know after they said “well she could get hit by a car tomorrow”. After talking to a doc who had it more together they said she has a 87% chance of a year left. I know everyone has to go at some point but I’m so far away and I can’t even be there for her. I’ll get to see her in July for her birthday if she’s still around, but one more time in the hospital and she won’t be.

I know I just have to accept it, but it’s hard when you’re pretty close to them. It’s hard when they’re slowly going downhill, and they know it and complain about it. All I want is to be there, and I can’t. Next to that all I want is a Cory hug, and of course he’s there too. Right now, shit just sucks.

Thank God Cameron is asleep while I bawl my face off… I hate it when he sees mommy cry.

Monday night the hubs and I started P90X Lean. I have to laugh at myself and admit defeat already… We didn’t even make it through the first workout! It was the core workout, and after having a baby (even though it was 4 months ago), my core is SHOT. Yesterday was cardio, and although I couldn’t quite keep up and there was a few things I couldn’t do, we made it through! Today is shoulders & arms, then ab ripper x. I’m kind of terrified but I want the body I had last summer back when I had my personal trainer for a few months. We obviously can’t afford it now, so this is how we’re going to do things. We’re going to take before photos tonight, and maybe if I’m brave I’ll post them under a cut another day. I’ll warn you now though, they are not pretty.

I went from 160lbs to 227 with Cameron, and now I’m still resting at about 195. My jeans don’t fit properly and my legs are rubbing like hell against each other… Hopefully by Hoedown things will have changed and I’ll be looking and feeling awesome!

When I dream about him please allow me to remember more than 3.5 seconds when I wake up! Oh well, at least I got some pretty jewellery in my dream…

I went on etsy and tried to find the closest thing possible to the rings I was given in my dream. The band I found basically an exact match but the sapphire ring was no dice.

Now the band is pretty much exactly like I remember; original, real, handmade. As for the stone, picture two blue sapphires. A larger square one, and a smaller square one both in the center next to each other. The larger one sat a couple milimeters higher, and looked like it was held onto the ring by gold twine wrapper around it and the prongs. The smaller sapphire looked to be held on the same. It was beautiful. I have never even seen anything like it, and now I want it pretty bad. If it wouldn’t cost me upwords of 1000$ I would be putting a request out there for it to be made.

Next he gave me a diamond band… it wasn’t a wedding, and we didn’t get married. The only reason I’m sure of this is because he bought them for Angel, and she was moving (actual real life happening [the moving], and I couldn’t be more excited because she isn’t right for him). Plus I had my promise ring from my husband, the diamond band pictured below and the sapphire ring stacked.

I guess I wasn’t as held together as I thought I was… seems like it’s time to e-mail him again.